Nothing beats a good vacation. The sun is number one for me. Followed by having my family with me. lol I love not having anywhere to rush off to, the relaxed pace, and the actual feeling of becoming revitalized. It sometimes may take a day or two, but I can feel my body losing tension and start to unwind. That’s when my mind gets to going, juices start to flow. I start to enjoy my family more and see them as the loves of my life. I feel tranquil and actually don’t mind cooking–or any other “ugh” chore that I have to do daily. I am ready to engage in any task asked of me and won’t feel like I am cramming it in while contemplating a full list of other things to add to my day.
I even start to think of how I can extend the feelings I get on vacation to my everyday life back home.
But it’s this time that I think and reflect on myself that also gets me frustrated and down once I get back home and settled into my routine.
On vacation, I conjure these grand emotions of ways I can be a better mom and wife. I can see clearly how to accomplish it. And I think how I can treat myself better, spend more time on myself rather than run out the house with no make-up and a hat on because I couldn’t get to my hair.
It all seems so inviting and feasible. But two days after unpacking, hitting the grocery store to refill the fridge, and washing sand and chlorine from the vacation clothes, I always realize that it’s just a pipe dream. It saddens me that the hustle and bustle of our lives keeps us from being the kind of parent or wife that we would like to be. I’d love to wake up and make breakfast for my family every morning. Sit with them and discuss our dreams from the night. Try to figure out what we ate or watched that caused them to be so spectacular. Walk or ride our bikes to drop the kid off to school. Walk her into her classroom and kiss her forehead goodbye in front of her classmates. Maybe visit the hubby at his job for lunch. Take my time getting home after work to toil in the garden and pick vegetables for our dinner. Play board games as a family before we eat, then act out our favorite books before bedtime.
No, this doesn’t have to be an everyday thing, but that’s what makes it so depressing. It’s not even a once a week thing with all the items that have to be done day-to-day.
I don’t want to say that it makes me not want to go on vacation! I mean, come on! That’d be crazy! But I do tend to get a bit downhearted once I get home and can feel the tension entering my shoulders, start to fret how I’m going to get my “to do” list accomplished and see how the visions I had of becoming this new person are quickly diminishing.
I don’t like that my family only gets two weeks a year of the person I like to be. They only get a measure of her when she can force herself out every once in a while when vacation is so far off. How nice would it be for them to see that part of me at all times?!
I don’t know a way to make it happen more regularly besides taking a vacation twice a month! Can you even imagine how happy the family unit would be if we had more time to be ourselves?! I cherish the idea!